The other day when I logged into the system at the gym I found an unusual message waiting for me from “Mark” – I have never met this Mark. It read, in summary:

Congratulations, you have lifted 250,000kgs – that’s the equivalent of 70 elephants!

Very strange… so I spent the rest of the day thinking about 70 elephants chopped up into various pieces ranging from 40 to 110kg in size. These pieces being tied to the lifting cables of the gym equipment or being spiked onto either end of an iron bar.

The great thing about benchpressing elephant chunks is that once done you could have a tasty spit-roast – mmm, protein.